you lose, you lose

actually you didn't jess, and that's hilarious



what if others followed suit?







but the biggest loser issssssssssssssss......
lohancumcrackwhore!!!!!!!!!
*applause*



you're so silly

i decided we wasn't gon speak so why we up 3am on the phone????

i would like to say that dealing with an ex is easy. well, NOT. my ex as nice, friendly, and involved as he appears, gives such a false perception to other people.

i am sure he has his own insight and yes there are always two sides to every tale, but this is my blog, let him get his own blog.

dude was beyond bipolar. he's tripolar. i mean this is the only guy i know that can literally have a health power shake in one hand, a crackpipe in the other hand and reading the bible at the same time. he was a mess.

this has been going on for yearsssssssss. i met him in 2000, and little did i know what i was getting myself into. i knew he had inner problems and i always tried my best to help him, love him, care for him, etc. for some reason, i was still in love with that guy i first met and it took a loooong time for me to forget about him, to get over him completely.

and every time i'll try to move on, he'll be there...following me. he's now in atlanta and we haven't seen each other in forever, thank the freaking universe. but even though i've blocked him on myspace and facebook, changed my phone number (well, planning to), my e-mail, he still finds a way to contact me.

before, i'll actually give him the chance of talking, of explaining whatever he needed to explain. it always ended the same: arguing and immense bullshit. he has always tried to ruin my relationships in certain ways as well (emotionally cause he was my first and last boyfriend), and the impact he's had in my life has been tremendous. i've learned so, so much through my experiences with him (both good and bad). so, i'm thankful for that.

but sometimes i wonder if all that pain was worth it. i've forgiven him (kinda), i've tried to reason with him but all goes to shit. i've told him a million times how i feel and he never understands that i want him out of my life forever.

now.........after almost six months of not communicating, here he is again. making another profile and sending me message(s) titled "well hello!," and "please read." i'm so, so fucking tired of him and i wish he just disappeared from the face of the earth.

why? why can't he just leave me alone? why doesn't he just go away and live his own life? i know those answers are probably obvious and already answered, but they still roll around in my head over and over again.

i effin' hate it.

now, i keep telling myself, NEVER AGAIN.

thank you for reading.

out with the old

in with the new

r.i.p hott neighbor hellrooo methylbenzoylecgonine

feeling a bit lackluster, writing-wise but i thought this picture was worth posting:





not much has been happening lately, work is going and busy, and i am just somehow uninspired to rant about bitchy l.a. girls, or washing the floor, or incompetant coworkers, or tomato vespers, or the accidental porn.....sigh.

maybe it is the cold-hot-cold weather but i have not been very motivated, energetic or engaged over the last 2 weeks.

a list of things to run to that will give you a jolt when things are feeling "blah":

exercise, then

5 hour energy, then

ben-gay on your balls,then

babysit 3 kids for five minutes, then

fight your way through sunset, then

streak through the ron hubbard center, then

light hair on fire freebasing cocaine, then

organize abstract house night at the lacma, then

copulate with your computer to completion, then

start typing

notorious: a review from someone who cares

those trailers on youtube may look promising, but don't believe the hype. "notorious," a biopic about the life and death of notorious b.i.g., feels like biggie's wikipedia page reformatted for the big screen. no era of the iconic brooklyn rapper's 24 years goes untouched, making a frustrating dash from the playground to the grave, all in less than two hours.

notorious suffers from biopic-itis, that regrettable tendency to reduce complicated lives to a greatest-hits assemblage of melodramatic highs and agonizing lows. the performances are a mixed bag. naturi naughton captures lil' kim's strange combination of brazen sexuality and unexpected vulnerability, and woolard has expressive, fluid eyes and a melancholy air that belies his mountainous physique and brash charisma. the usually unimpeachable bassett is saddled with the film's hoariest hood-movie clichés in the form of overwrought speeches about the dangers of street life. in spite of a handful of stellar performances and infectious wall-to-wall music that conveys the wit, musicality, and verbal dexterity of b.i.g.'s oeuvre, notorious feels depressingly like a vh1 tv movie.

if this all sounds sketchy and unrevealing, so’s the movie, which seems more interested in drawing a largely sympathetic and superficial portrait in a flashy style than in providing any serious insight. in the process it fails to explain, or even lay out with great precision, what’s happening at various times, and what the import of it was—simply to follow the story, it’s really necessary to study up and bring some background knowledge to the picture with you. a great rapper deserves a great biopic, but b.i.g. fans will have to settle for this merely passable one.


maybe in 70 years, when all those involved in the story are dead and the truth can finally be told, a more incisive, less glorifying film can be made of the notorious b.i.g. with notorious, despite energetic performances from woolard, naughton and mackie and a vibrant soundtrack, all we get is a factory-issue biography, making little allowance for the quirks of the actual life story it's telling.

idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that

i keep seeing this guy walk'n around.
i dunno, he just keeps turning up.