i decided we wasn't gon speak so why we up 3am on the phone????

i would like to say that dealing with an ex is easy. well, NOT. my ex as nice, friendly, and involved as he appears, gives such a false perception to other people.

i am sure he has his own insight and yes there are always two sides to every tale, but this is my blog, let him get his own blog.

dude was beyond bipolar. he's tripolar. i mean this is the only guy i know that can literally have a health power shake in one hand, a crackpipe in the other hand and reading the bible at the same time. he was a mess.

this has been going on for yearsssssssss. i met him in 2000, and little did i know what i was getting myself into. i knew he had inner problems and i always tried my best to help him, love him, care for him, etc. for some reason, i was still in love with that guy i first met and it took a loooong time for me to forget about him, to get over him completely.

and every time i'll try to move on, he'll be there...following me. he's now in atlanta and we haven't seen each other in forever, thank the freaking universe. but even though i've blocked him on myspace and facebook, changed my phone number (well, planning to), my e-mail, he still finds a way to contact me.

before, i'll actually give him the chance of talking, of explaining whatever he needed to explain. it always ended the same: arguing and immense bullshit. he has always tried to ruin my relationships in certain ways as well (emotionally cause he was my first and last boyfriend), and the impact he's had in my life has been tremendous. i've learned so, so much through my experiences with him (both good and bad). so, i'm thankful for that.

but sometimes i wonder if all that pain was worth it. i've forgiven him (kinda), i've tried to reason with him but all goes to shit. i've told him a million times how i feel and he never understands that i want him out of my life forever.

now.........after almost six months of not communicating, here he is again. making another profile and sending me message(s) titled "well hello!," and "please read." i'm so, so fucking tired of him and i wish he just disappeared from the face of the earth.

why? why can't he just leave me alone? why doesn't he just go away and live his own life? i know those answers are probably obvious and already answered, but they still roll around in my head over and over again.

i effin' hate it.

now, i keep telling myself, NEVER AGAIN.

thank you for reading.

out with the old

in with the new